Trolling Vegeta
by ClothesBeam
Summary: Ever since that day on the Lookout, Vegeta has been questioning whether Goku is just an oblivious idiot, or if he's up to something far more sinister...
1. You Mad?

**Edit 17/9/11: Structure and grammar revised.**

**You Mad?**

That man…

That stupid man with that stupid grin always plastered across his _stupid_ face. He didn't care what the woman said; that Kakarrot definitely knew what he was doing to him. It was practically mutinous! He was above him: he was his Prince!

A troll…

Yes, that was the word his woman had used. Somehow it also worked as a verb. How dare that third-class troll his superior!

"_So, you think you're stronger than me?" Vegeta stared Goku down as they waited atop the Lookout, outside The Hyperbolic Time Chamber._

"_Hehe, yup!"_

A vein popped out on Vegeta's forehead as he clenched his fists; just the memory was enough to set him off. And now the bane of his pride was back for good, apparently. To top it off, he was also stronger than ever, _apparently_.

Vegeta suddenly swung his legs over the side of the bed, roughly jostling Bulma, who was still sleeping.

"What's it, 'Geta?" She mumbled into the pillow, too tired to speak properly let alone get up with him.

This woman…

Yes, she was also one of these... _trolls_. Who else would behave more immaturely than her own child? Honestly, she was supposed to be royalty now, yet all she did was go around teasing other mothers whose sons weren't as strong. By sticking her tongue out and pulling faces at them, no less.

That wasn't to say he didn't get a certain amount of satisfaction from seeing Trunks severely outclass opponents twice his age. But it was the principle of the thing…

"Need to train." He answered shortly, stalking off with the intent to go to his favourite place on this pathetic planet: the gravity room.

"Why?" She continued to mumble into the pillow. "Come back to bed, it's too early."

"There is nothing early about 9am!" He snapped, turning round to face her again.

Finally she shifted her head a little and Vegeta could see the smile playing around her lips. No! He couldn't let her win again! Stupid trolling wife should go troll stupid Kakarrot. Then they could troll each other and leave him the hell alone.

He growled in response to her smug face (which could be rivalled only by the smug face Krillin used to make when he was a child) and was about to leave the room when she whispered, "you mad?"

Deciding to ignore her childish games, he turned as if to leave, and would have continued with his stalking, if the dreaded Kakarrot hadn't happened to appear right in front of him at that very moment.

"Hiya guys!"

"Goku, don't you know what knocking at the front door is?" Bulma sighed, pulling the covers over her bare legs. Not that she had much to hide after their childhood adventures. Her eye twitched slightly at the memory of 'ants in her pants'.

He just laughed innocently, not that Vegeta saw it that way anymore, and answered, "Sorry, it was just easier to instant transmission. I thought you'd be up by now. 'Specially you Vegeta, don't you want to get stronger than me?"

Vegeta opened his mouth, ready to angrily roar something in defence of his pride. However, Goku just continued speaking, oblivious.

"Oh yeah! You already conceded that I was stronger, I remember now!" He laughed again, placing his hands behind his head.

But Vegeta was suspicious now. He wasn't aware Kakarrot had words as complex as 'concede' in his vocabulary. Kamehameha excluded, of course. He made an odd hissing noise, ignoring his suspicions for the moment in favour of powering up.

"Then fight me! We'll see if things have changed!"

"Doubt it." Goku smiled, tilting his head to the side. Vegeta gave a warning growl, but all it achieved was that hauntingly familiar response again. "You mad?"

Vegeta snapped and took off outside, not wanting to have to worry about his woman being caught up in their fight. Goku giggled at the Super-Saiyan-Vegeta-shaped hole in the wall. It probably would have taken less effort to open the window, but there was just no reasoning with him sometimes.

"You're good." Bulma said, trying not to laugh. Had Vegeta really been onto something with his claims that Goku trolled him on purpose?

"At what?" Goku asked with his adorably confused face on. But he didn't wait around for an answer; he simply shrugged and followed Vegeta outside. Once again his short attention span had easily been taken advantage of by his love to fight.

Bulma simply frowned in response. Was he trolling as some kind of battle tactic, or was he just too dense to correlate Vegeta's rising power with his condescending words? She sighed again and buried her head under the pillows as the Capsule Corporation building shook, due to the powerful blows being exchanged just outside.

So much for their lazy day in bed…

**AN: Yeah, I don't know where this came from. I have nothing to say for myself. Please let me know what you thought of it!**


	2. You Jelly?

_Back by sudden inspiration and popular demand. Quite sure this will be the last of this series unless I can think of more appropriate memes/scenes to parody or refer to._

**Stepping on Toes (You Jelly?)**

Vegeta glared at the big dolt as they took a mutually agreed upon break in what had turned into a regular sparring session. He was still unable to figure him out. A minute ago he was practically trolling openly (if such a thing could truly be said to exist), but now he was behaving perfectly innocently again. Vegeta refused to be fooled.

What he had seen could not be unseen… At least not without a sufficient blow to the head, but those were becoming harder to come by with each day of training.

Suddenly he was plagued by thoughts of Ginyu's Flamboyant Special Forces, and Goku subsequently beating them to a pulp. But he hadn't done it without first stepping on an awful lot of toes.

First up was Recoome, whom he managed to beat with ease, which had been beyond Vegeta at that point. Despite the man's almost constant concerns about appearance, his death pose ended up being even more undignified than Yamcha's.

Next was Burter, the self-proclaimed 'fastest being in the universe'. A few hits later and Goku was saying something about being the new fastest being in the universe. Not long after, it was Jeice's turn for a beating.

But even after Ginyu had been fetched, the man's precious poses had apparently been mocked, and his display of power far outstripped. Eventually he ended up as a frog, greatly humiliated and probably destroyed along with planet Namek.

Vegeta was suspicious, to say the least.

"What you thinkin' about, 'Geta?" Goku asked, idiot mask on.

"How I'm going to kill you if you call me that again." He replied sharply, taking the bait before he could stop himself.

"Hmm, I guess you'd have to set a trap or something since I can turn Super Saiyan 3 and you can't." He replied with a surprisingly thoughtful look on his face.

Vegeta forced on a stoic expression and didn't reply. If he couldn't be the brawn of this outfit, he would certainly be the brains.

"If you made it look like you were responsible, you'd also have my family's vengeance to deal with. As if Chi-Chi wasn't terrifying enough on her own, there's also Goten and Gohan."

"There's nothing scary about that harpy!" Vegeta blatantly lied. So he may admit at the point of death that Kakarrot was stronger, and Gohan was in a league of his own when riled up. But to be compared to some human woman who probably hadn't fought in decades was just plain degrading!

"I dunno… when she gets that frying pan out…" He gulped and cringed, overdramatically in Vegeta's opinion.

He snorted in response. "What, are you being abused in your own home? There's help for that on this planet."

"Did you have an experience you want to talk to me about Vegeta?" Goku asked with a look of great concern. He even put a hand on his arm, which was soon violently smacked away. "You don't have to hide your feelings here. Were you touched inappropriately?"

He knew Kakarrot was just trying to belittle and irk him, but he couldn't help but think back to his old life. The one mostly spent on Frieza's ship. "Oh you mean aside from being molested during my childhood? No Kakarrot, no," he spat venomously.

"What, seriously?" this time it was sincere guilt that came over the moron's face. "Gee, I'm sorry Vegeta."

He snickered, glad that he had finally gotten to the imbecile. He was trained to leave his past behind, so it wasn't like their conversation was bothering him that much. "So that's all it takes to get you to stop ribbing me. Why didn't I think of it sooner?"

Goku's frown deepened and he looked at Vegeta sternly. "I don't really think that's something to laugh about."

Vegeta disliked this brand of being talked down to even more. "Of course I'm not still traumatised by something so stupid! I am the Prince of all Saiyans!"

"What, the Prince of me? I'm pretty sure our kids don't count. You can take some time to look after yourself, I don't mind, oh leader." He replied and folded his arms. But this uncharacteristic seriousness didn't last very long. "You should worry more about 'looking after' Bulma." He grinned.

Wink, wink… Nudge, nudge…

"Dammit Kakarrot! Don't be so lewd, you freak!" Suddenly Vegeta was back on his feet, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Since when have you had a libido?" He added, almost as an afterthought.

Goku frowned, but this time it was simply his normal idiocy-fuelled confusion. "Does that mean I am the Prince of all Libidos? Do they taste good?"

He was so moronic he didn't even have a grasp of his native tongue? Vegeta groaned in exasperation, smacking himself in the forehead. Maybe he could deliver the blow of sweet, sweet forgetfulness…

"Aw, what's wrong 'Geta? Jealous?"

Vegeta simply continued to smack himself in the head. If Kakarrot had managed to survive severe brain damage, he was sure he could, too.


End file.
